Guilt | Resource Guide
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What it is: Objectively, guilt is having rebelled against a perfect God by failing to discover and do what He says is best. Subjectively, guilt is a feeling of disapproval which may or may not reflect a state of having done wrong in God’s evaluation. Since the presence of a feeling of guilt warn us of possible wrongdoing, we cannot ignore it. On the other, we cannot leave it unchallenged. It’s validity must be checked out by Scripture (Mt 18:15).
Dealing with earned guilt: 1. Confess and turn from our sin (Prov 28:13) to faith and obedience. This includes restitution if need be. 2. Believe we are forgiven (Rom 8:1; 1 Jn 1:9). 3. Praise God (Rom 11:32-33). 4. Move on (Phil 3:13).
Dealing with false guilt where we feel guilty but aren’t objectively guilty: 1. Admit we feel guilty and, if need be, follow the steps for dealing with earned guilt (Rom 14:23). 2. Evaluate our behavior by Scripture and adopt biblical ways of thinking. (Examples: Replacing self-blame and self-condemning with self-acceptance [Rom 15:7]; giving up any perfectionistic expectations which drive us – often recognized by ‘shoulds’ that aren’t required by the Bible [Col 2:20-23] and by ‘if onlys.’ 3. Forgive if that is needed. 4. As we think and act in ways that shed unearned feelings of guilt, don’t be alarmed if it initially feels wrong. This is natural and is known as cognitive dissonance. (Example: We may know that the new dress shoes we just bought are the right size but they may initially feel uncomfortable until they are broken in). We are not to be controlled by our feelings.
Reasons you may wrongly choose to cling to guilt: 1. Thinking it is safer to turn the anger and resentment we have toward others into guilt. Hence, we do to ourselves through guilt (punish ‘bad me’) what we would like to do to others (punish ‘bad you’). 2. Trusting in guilt rather than in the Lord to motivate us to avoid future sin. (Instead, it is a grace-enriching focus on Jesus which is to motivate us. See Heb 12:2 and 2 Pet 3:18). 3. To avoid success because we fear it. 4. To get attention. 5. To manipulate others. After all, people don’t normally expect much from someone who is broken and hurting.