Courtesy Should Reflect Truth
To be courteous is to treat people with respect and gentleness. Being courteous to others shows we esteem them. They are worthy of respect (1 Pet 2:17). We value them. Showing courtesy does not mean that we cannot disagree with another, however. Courtesy can never be divorced from truth and our expressing courtesy must start with knowing what we believe to be God’s truth (1 Cor 13:4-6, NLT). “The first point of courtesy must always be truth” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
Unless specifically directed otherwise by God’s Spirit, courtesy dictates that we wait until the other person asks for our advice or input instead of forcing our advice onto others (1 Cor 13:5, Message). Normally, a courteous person is not pushy. This friendliness and politeness may help others to respect us as well. Others become more open to listening because our manner of presentation was polite. It is not coincidental that Washington, who was one of the greatest individuals of his age, was also so courteous. Usually, “the greater the man, the greater the courtesy” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson) because “he who sows courtesy reaps friendship’ (St. Basil).
It is possible to be courteous partly or largely because we want others to hold a certain view of us. Yet, the gentleness and humility that lead to God’s kind of courtesy is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:23, GW and CJB). It is not concerned with reputation (Gal 5:24-26). Nor should we be courteous simply because of the effect it will have on others. Washington was courteous, in large part, because he thought it was the right way to live. And it is.
Comforting others is costly but worth it.