Good Commitments Enrich Us
Despite other choices that could be made, commitment involves ongoing decisions to persevere toward a goal that is important to us.
We are to avoid commitments that are biblically wrong (1 Cor 7:39; 2 Cor 6:14). Further, whenever it is possible, we should steer clear of commitments that, while not immoral, are likely to harm us (Prov 13:20). In addition, being overcommitted is normally unhealthy and should typically be avoided (Mk 6:30-31). Besides this, even if we are not overcommitted, merely good commitments must not divert us from the best commitments (Phil 1:9-10, NIV). After all, the good is the enemy of the best. We must be committed to those people and projects the Lord has assigned to us (2 Cor 10:13).
We often avoid making healthy commitments for a number of reasons: 1. Self-centered unwillingness to make sacrifices (Mt 19:21-22). 2. No good options are available (cf. obeying 1 Cor 7:39 if there are no committed Christian men available). 3. Fear of losing control. 4. Fear of failure (Judg 7:2-3). 5. Fear of being rejected if someone sees how we really are.
The goal of interpersonal commitment is a healthy intimacy, based on trust, in which each becomes spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally vulnerable, to varying degrees, depending on the amount of time, trust, and desire for closeness we have. Unfortunately, all of us, to some extent, believe we have parts of ourselves that are unlovable. The result is an avoidance of deeper intimacy.
How do we maintain healthy commitments? First, we make sure it is a commitment God wants us to have. Second, we carry out the commitment the way God wants (Ps 19:7-11). Third, it helps to focus on the satisfying aspects of the commitment (Phil 4:8) – including the joy of giving (Acts 20:35). Fourth, we need to act in trustworthy ways by doing such things as keeping our promises (Jn 13:37-38). Fifth, since commitment is strengthened over time as each finds the other to be trustworthy, spend time with the one to whom we are committed. Sixth, we need to remind ourselves of the bigger picture of being faithful to what God has called us (Lk 8:15; Mt 25:14-30).
Instead of being timid, learn to be appropriately bold.