Destructive Fear In Parenting

Nov 20

Unless our fear is to help us recognize and escape from genuine danger, it is probably destructive. Let us not use destructive fear in our parenting. Destructive fear prevents them from experiencing the life God wants them to enjoy. Part of their life becomes barren and unfruitful by it (Mt 25:14, Weymouth note). It encages them, boxes them in, makes their world smaller rather than promoting in them the trust in God who protects them (Prov 29:25, Beck). That trust would make them feel like a calf released from its stall (Mal 4:2). Parenting our children through the use of destructive fear can sap their courage, their sense of being empowered to serve, their love, and can erode good judgment (2 Tim 1:7, Beck).

We are not to attempt to try to instill unnecessary fear into our children (Eph 6:9, EVD). Warning them to avoid dangerous situations is necessary and loving. However, haven’t many of us allowed our children to take in scary images they really didn’t need to see or hear? For example, why do we allow our children to watch horror movies or other movies that have such a strong component of imparting fear? Why do we watch such movies ourselves? A movie with a little fear but, otherwise, a lot of positives to enrich our souls might be worthwhile. The movie that has more than a little that is intended to frighten and less than a lot that is positive should be reconsidered though. Movies that are largely trying to frighten us just don’t encourage growth for our souls. In my opinion, we should avoid them.

The use of destructive fear in parenting our children can hinder the growth of God’s life in them, lay emotional-spiritual-relational traps for them, and can be an obstacle to the release of the Spirit’s power, love, and good judgment in their lives. Surely, we should ask the Lord about our parenting methods. (Personally, I don’t think appropriate punishment need be ‘destructive fear.’ It depends on how it is done. See Prov 13:24). We should seek to encourage our children’s faith and love rather than their terrified compliance. Shouldn’t it also stand to reason that we would do well to not deliberately ingest needless fear into our own souls? May the Lord speak to us about this.

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