Is It Wrong For A Christian To Be Sad?
Is it wrong to be sad when the Bible itself says that the natural tendency of disappointment is sadness (Prov 13:12)? Some seem to think so: “It is impious in a good man to be sad” (Young), “We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever, ask him to forgive us for our sadness” (R. W. Dale), and “The true recipe for a miserable existence is to quarrel with Providence” (J. W. Alexander). Surely there is some truth in this. After all, we can be sad about God’s goodness because we are complaining about His providence. This is wrong as the murmuring Israelites found out in their desert experience. Some might also wonder how a Christian, who believes in Rom 8:28, can stay in a prolonged state of sadness or depression unless it is a result of such things as unresolved chemical or demonic factors, unbelief, or is a result of other unrepentant sin.
Yet, there are times we must grieve if we would be like Jesus, the “man of sorrows” (Isa 53:3). Grief is part of life (Eccl 3:4). This is why we are told to share the pain of those who are sad (Rom 12:15, Phillips-2nd ed). The experience of grief can be instructive because “you learn your theology most where your sorrows take you” (Martin Luther). Furthermore, the expression of sorrow can bring healing.
Abraham Lincoln had an impoverished childhood, was isolated, and had a troubled relationship with his father. He also experienced the death of a number of people he loved: his beloved mother, his first romantic love, a younger brother, a dear older sister, and two of his children. He experienced a troubled marriage, many career failures, and, once president, he had to deal with untold anguish over the loss of life in the Civil War. What person wouldn’t struggle with sadness over such losses? Yet, Lincoln used such things as humor, supportive connection with friends, and a deep sense of purpose in his life to rise above his sadness. So can we. After all, “earth hath no sorrow that heaven cannot heal!” (Thomas More) because nothing can separate us from God’s love for us (Rom 8:38-39).
Comforting others is costly but worth it.