Love & Suffering
“We never know how much one loves till we know how much he is willing to endure and suffer for us; and it is the suffering element that measures love” (Henry Ward Beecher). Hence, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow; but this same necessity of love serves to counteract their grief and heal them” (Leon Tolstoy).
It hurts to love. Love gives sacrificially. God so loved us that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for us (Jn 3:16). This suffering of the Father in sending His Son and the suffering of the Son on our behalf is how we know God loves us (Rom 5:8; 8:35). Furthermore, the Holy Spirit shows His love for us by allowing Himself to live in us despite the many ways we insult, grieve, and wound Him (Eph 4:30).
In the same way, it will cost us to love another. We all wound each other (Prov 27:17). Some, realizing this, become protective and guard against pain through isolation or superficial connection. They don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable. Yet, while love brings both laughter and tears, we can usually choose to focus on the laughter. We can “love like we’ve never been hurt” (Mark Twain). We can let love heal us so we are able to love even more deeply another day. This is progress. It is becoming more like Him who is love.
When God wants a couple or family to alter course, the revelation is normally clear.