Love Versus Magic
Just prior to the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to avoid an approach to God characterized by the use of magic to get what we want from Him (Mt 6:7). Instead, we are to approach Him through the relational intimacy of His Fatherly love (Mt 6:9). Magic is about control – control of God, circumstances, and others. Magic is not about either relationship or love. Neither is it about serving but its focus is on being served. (See my book, Hints From The Lord’s Prayer).
Do we interact with others for what we can get from them? Do we need to be in control of our relationships? This is a mind-set consistent with magic rather than love. We often treat God the same way. We go to Him to avoid Hell and to be blessed with health and help. Love, however, freely and fully gives itself to Him (Rom 12:1). This is hard because it is so contrary to what we naturally perceive to be best. It is partly why Jesus said that the way to life, to embracing His love in self-surrender, is such a hard path to follow (Mt 7:14). But, oh, it is worth it! See 2 Cor 4:17.
This is why friendship and, especially, marriage is so important. In a healthy friendship or marriage, we are not trying to control the other, attempting to bend them to our will, but are wanting the other to become the best version of themself they can be. To that end, our focus is on serving them rather than on being served. To some extent it is training in how we should more appropriately approach the Lord.
When God wants a couple or family to alter course, the revelation is normally clear.