Romantic Love In Marriage


In the Bible, the Song of Songs tells us how the Lord wants marital lovemaking to be among those who follow Him. Romantic love is an important part of the Song’s message. The Song is full of romantic activities: being physically affectionate (SS 1:2), spending time together (SS 7:11-12), and offering our beloved a gift (SS 2:5). Further romantic behaviors in the Song could be freshening up before she saw her loved one (SS 1:12), cuddling (SS 8:3), writing a love note (SS 1:1), complimenting one another (SS 1:15-16, TEV), and being helpful (SS 2:3). The Song gives examples of all five of Chapman’s love languages (The 5 Love Languages) – with an especially strong emphasis on physical touch and words of affirmation.

What, then, is romantic love? Romantic love is about being considerate, thoughtful, and respecting our spouse’s desires. The daily courtesies that spring from being well-mannered strengthen marital commitment, enhance marital passion, promote marital intimacy, and facilitate marital romance. Marital romance is about appreciating our spouse, being affectionate, considerate, and flirtatious. It is about giving our spouse our attention because they are worth it.

Primarily, romantic love involves being attracted to our spouse because of the quality of their character. Romantic love is focused attention on our mate. We give them this attention because we love them and want our spouse to know they mean so much to us. The focus is on emotional connection which leads to intimacy. Within the commitment of marriage, let us be intimate and passionate.



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