Wink At Small Faults
For the sake of profiting from the good qualities of people, George Washington ignored their shortcomings. He was able to “wink at small faults” (John Clarke) by focusing on their strengths. Are we willing to do this?
How do we evaluate others? Do we magnify their faults and minimize their positives? Many do this because they compare themselves to others and feel better about themselves when others don’t score too high (Gal 6:4, NLT). Others do it because it can be an effective way of avoiding physical or emotional intimacy. After all, if we always have issues with our mate, we can justify frequently saying, “Not tonight, dear.” Likewise, we can keep others at a distance, making it seem to be their fault when, really, we are the ones who have issues with being close. God commands us to speak the truth in love to one another (Eph 4:15). Evaluations which are not based in truth are offensive to the Lord, hurtful to others, and do us harm as well (Rom 12:3 with Prov 6:16-19).
What should we do about our own faults? Confessing them is a good first step. Often, though, we describe our controlling behavior as assertive; our deceptive behavior as discretion; our use of intimidation as merely being strong; our selfishness as choosing wisely etc. Even when we confess our faults, however, we often justify them: “I have to exert control because you are so passive” or “I focus on my own desires because I believe in taking care of myself.” Assuming we actually confess our shortcomings, we would do well to avoid anything which strengthens them and, more importantly, to let the Lord develop the fruit of the Spirit in us since this will weaken our tendencies toward wrong (Gal 5:16-25). “You will find it less easy to uproot faults, than to choke them by gaining virtues” (Ruskin).
Loving trust is more important than mere head knowledge.