The Difference Between Shame & Guilt
We are not likely to correctly deal with a problem unless we accurately diagnose it. What, then, are some of the differences between shame and guilt? We need to know if we would be free of them.
Shame is the result of failure to reach an ideal or goal while guilt results from transgression (Ps 51:2-4). Shame concerns disapproval from our group while guilt is criticism from our conscience (Rom 2:15). With shame, what counts is the approval of our behavior by those we consider to be important while guilt reflects the rightness or wrongness of our behavior (Mt 12:7). Fearing our exposure to the group is what shame is about; guilt can be more private. Shame deals more with who I am while guilt concerns what I did. Hence, shame comes from feeling inferior and unacceptable (Ps 86:17); guilt arises from wrongdoing.
When we view ourself as not being good enough, we are dealing with shame (Rom 10:11); when we view our actions as not being good enough, we are dealing with guilt (Rom 4:7-8). A person who is shamed is embarrassed, humiliated, dishonored; a person who is guilty is in the wrong, indebted, responsible (Rom 5:16). Shame arises by comparing ourself to others (Gal 6:3-4, CEV); guilt by development of our conscience.
Let us look to Christ, who can free us from both shame and guilt because He forgives our sin (guilt that would have led to punishment) and enables us to eventually be the best version of ourself we could possibly be (shame that would have led to disgrace).
We are to be good stewards of the children God may give us.