Don’t Create Unnecessary Trouble
A quarrelsome person creates strife, discord, a contentious atmosphere, and makes unnecessary trouble (Gal 5:20). Such a person is conceited, provoking, challenging, and irritating (Gal 5:26, AB). As a work of the sinful nature, being quarrelsome is wrong.
What is not included in the idea of being quarrelsome? Confronting a person over sin could create problems for another but we are required to do that (Mt 18:15). Not associating with someone who is routinely divisive might make trouble for them, yet we are required to do that also (Tit 3:10). Appropriately debating another’s position on some topic would not be included either (Prov 26:5). Furthermore, we are allowed to say ‘no’ to another or set some other valid boundary even if they tantrum over not getting their way (Gal 1:10; Rom 14:23). Finally, the apostle Paul was falsely accused of being a troublemaker because he was doing and proclaiming what the Lord wanted (Acts 24:5, NIV). To lovingly say and do what the Lord wants is showing regard for both truth and love. This, too, is not creating strife. The strife is caused by the other’s reaction to not wanting to live by God’s truth (Jn 3:19-21). What Jesus said and did, as God directed Him to proclaim truth (Jn 5:19), often resulted in division and discord (Mt 10:34). That was not being quarrelsome, though. Failure to speak the truth, because it would lead to a contentious atmosphere, often reflects a failure of love and courage.
What kind of things would reasonably be included in sinful quarreling or creating strife? We are quarrelsome, making trouble for others, when we provoke or irritate them without regard to truth and love. Perhaps we love verbal banter or to agitate others, to ‘stir things up’ with others so their peace is unnecessarily disturbed. This may either be our goal or the predictable effect of how we are arguing over matters where we should be gracious (Rom 14:1-3). Maybe we ridicule someone like Ishmael did of Isaac. A quarrelsome person might punish another by withdrawing contact merely because our ego was wounded or some other invalid reason (Jude 19, PEB). We could set a poor example for another knowing it will likely make them stumble. Perhaps we stir the calm waters of their heart by saying or doing things which are intended to create anxiety. Even if we say all this is being done in jest, it is still troublemaking.
Love does not easily take offense, nor is it irritable or quick-tempered (1 Cor 13:5, NEB with NLT and CEV). In addition, love doesn’t seek to agitate others unless truth and love compel us to provoke them to further faith, love, and good deeds (Heb 10:24). Let us love enough to avoid sinful troublemaking.
Good timing is an important part of healthy communication.