Timely Talk
The Bible teaches that we should speak at the right time (Proverbs 25:11-12, Beck). The likely results of speaking must be assessed to help determine if it is the right time to speak (Prov 26:4-5). This is also true for whether the response would deal with something consequential, where we would probably need to respond, or whether it is trivial. Even the right answer to a problem may not be helpful if it is not spoken at the right time. The right time includes making sure you first have all the relevant facts so you don’t give a foolishly premature response (Prov 18:13). We are also to say the right thing for the particular circumstance because even the correct answer to a problem may not be helpful if it is not spoken at the right time (Prov 15:23).
Finally, we are to say the right thing, in the right time, and in the right way. Part of the right way to speak is that our motives are good and our way of seeking to persuade the person are effective for that person in that circumstance. It is not done in a way that is likely to be counterproductive – though sometimes people need to be told things bluntly as a way to try to shock them out of their stubbornness (Mt 23:13-23). For instance, shouting a greeting to our neighbor so early in the morning that we are likely to wake up his or her neighbors is the wrong way of greeting them because it is unwelcome, overplayed, and inconsiderate (Prov 27:14). The right way would also include speaking to maximize the other’s satisfaction with the conversation, whenever that is workable and doesn’t violate truth.
There are many benefits to saying the right thing, to the right person, at the right time, and in the right way. Let us mention just one: John Gottman points out that many couples don’t wait for the right time to deal with an argument. They continue it even when both are very angry. This is destructive. Happy couples discontinue an overly-heated argument so they can become calmer before resuming it.
Christians should accept those whom God has accepted.