Gossip’s Motive Is To Wound
What is gossip? It includes saying things about another for the purpose of exposing and shaming him (Prov 11:13; 20:19), trying to harm another by spreading bad news about him (2 Cor 12:20), repeating rumors about another, and unnecessary talk about someone which shames him (Prov 10:18). In addition, revealing what is confided to us is a form of gossip (Prov 11:13). However, gossip need not include telling a counselor, pastor, or godly confidant about an interpersonal difficulty for the purpose of getting help. Other exemptions might be explaining another’s sin to a likely ‘witness’ or to church leadership (Mt 18:16-17) and checking out the validity of what we honestly believe to be revelation from God about another with an appropriate third party (1 Cor 14:29). Warning a potential victim of another’s destructive behavior and/or beliefs (Mt 23:1-4) could also be a legitimate exception.
Gossip can incite quarrels (Prov 26:20) and destroy fellowship (Prov 16:28). The one gossiped about can be hurt (Prov 25:18) and it is destructive to the one who hears it (Prov 18:8). Both the reputation of the gossiper and the one about who he is gossiping can be damaged (Prov 25:9-10). When done maliciously, it is practical hatred and will expose the gossiper to Satanic influence (Eph 4:26-27 cf. Mt 5:21-22). Gossip shows an unloving disregard for the other and an arrogant scorning of God (Prov 6:16, 19).
How do we avoid gossiping about others? Don’t circulate rumors (Ex 23:1). Don’t pass on true but evil news unless we can confidently see that doing so is better than being quiet. Fill up our lives with better things to do (2 Th 3:11-12). Avoid the habitual gossiper (Prov 20:19). Furthermore, since gossip is often prompted by anger, we can learn to appropriately handle our anger.
What should we do when we are the subject of gossip? Pray for them (Mt 5:44-45). Forgive them (Mt 6:14-15). Be careful about what we share with them in the future (Prov 20:19). Don’t gossip in retaliation (2 Cor 12:20). Finally, don’t accept unearned guilt or engage in self-punishment because of the gossip (Rom 8:1).
When God wants a couple or family to alter course, the revelation is normally clear.