The Ill-Will Of Envy
Jealousy can sometimes be good (Ex 20:5; 2 Cor 11:2). However, envy is always bad. It is sadness for what we lack instead of being thankful for what we do have (Eph 5:20). Envy means feeling inferior because of what another has. Thus, it involves being disobedient to the command to not compare ourself to others (Gal 6:4, NLT).
When we are envious, we have ill-will over the advantages, popularity, possessions, or success of another which is viewed as being absent in ourselves. We don’t necessarily want to actually have the good of the other nor do we focus our actions on ways to improve ourselves with respect to the good which we observe the other to have. Instead, our emphasis is on wanting to undermine the other’s superiority because what the other has is experienced as devaluing us. We may not even be aware of the selfishness, resentment, deceit, or anger that often accompanies envy.
Envy is destructive to fellowship (Gal 5:26-6:2). It is unkind and unloving (1 Cor 13:4). Hence, we must resist envy through such things as personal growth, contentment, being happy for other people’s successes, especially praying for those we might tend to envy, focusing on furthering God’s kingdom rather than our own agenda, and looking for the positive in our own lack (Rom 8:28). Finally, since envy is a result of being controlled by the sinful nature (Gal 5:21), we can overcome tendencies to envy by continually living by the power and leading of God’s Spirit (Gal 5:16).
When God wants a couple or family to alter course, the revelation is normally clear.