Marital Happiness Is Attainable
“If you would shut up any man with any woman, so as to make them derive their whole pleasure from each other, they would inevitably fall in love with each other” (Samuel Johnson). If this is true, then the most important aspect of being happily married is gladly meeting each other’s needs. Given the like-one-person nature of marriage (Eph 5:28), this makes sense.
Life-long happy marriages are possible. We must do our part, though. Both spouses need to forgive each other heartily (Col 3:13). As Robert Quillen put it, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” In addition, we spouses need to focus on one another’s strengths and how we can meet each other’s needs rather than on our mate’s shortcomings (1 Cor 13:7, AB with Phil 4:8). Furthermore, we must remember the primary communicative importance of touch and voice tone. After all, Alexander the Great married a Bactrian princess named Roxane. He fell in love with her even though they never spoke a common language. Perhaps this is part of why we believers are to greet each other with a warm kiss of love (1 Pet 5:14).
Strong marital bonding requires a mutually initiated, mutually enjoyed, habit of intimately touching each other that includes lovemaking (See Intimate Behavior by Desmond Morris and Re-Bonding by Donald Joy). Yes, we are to be trustworthy and do what we can to be emotionally intimate. Honest and candid self-disclosure to our mate should be a high priority (Eph 4:15 with Prov 3:32, Tanakh). Another matter of great importance is keeping a high ratio of positive communication to negative communication with our spouse (Eph 4:29). A happy marriage is possible. Let us pursue it.
Comforting others is costly but worth it.