Not All Anger Is Sinful
Ephesians 4:26-27 (Phillips-2nd ed) tells us not to be angry in a sinful way. The command to make sure our anger is not a sinful type of anger implies that there is a non-sinful type of anger. How do we know the difference?
Sinful anger is common (Galatians 5:23). It is quickly expressed and the angry person feels ‘offended’ or ‘insulted’ (Proverbs 12:16). Their pride has been wounded. The focus is on themselves and what they want. The angry person often uses it to get their own way through creating fear and intimidation. It is punishing and threatening (such as glaring, the silent treatment, or threatening no further contact). Hence, it is destructive (Proverbs 29:22) and often leads to holding grudges (Ephesians 4:26-27, LB). Others are blamed for wrongdoing when they have not done anything which is biblically wrong (or have not done anything bad enough to warrant the type of response they got). Rather, they merely have not lived up to the angry person’s expectations (Colossians 2:16-17, LB). As a result, instead of building up the other person (Eph 4:29), sinful anger wrongly condemns those who have not sinned in God’s eyes (or whose mistake should have been met with more graciousness). It is judgmental, tries to make the other accept inappropriate guilt, seeks to bind the recipient of the anger to the angry individual’s control, and tempts the receiver of the anger to idolatry (Galatians 1:10).
Righteous anger, on the other hand, is uncommon. The person is reluctant to express it. It is unselfish because the focus is on what is right in God’s eyes. It serves God’s purposes, seeks to create a desire to understand in the recipient of the anger, and attempts to bring about the other’s growth. It is motivated by love, not by hurt feelings. The anger addresses clear violations of God’s will as shown through an accurate handling of the Scripture. The person with righteous anger forgives the other (Ephesians 4:31-32, LB), encourages them to act in line with God’s revelation, builds up the other person, and wants to promote a fair and Biblical resolution to the problem. Such a person is humble and carefully examines their part in the problem.
We must avoid sinful anger whenever possible and repent of it quickly when we give in to it. Failure to promptly repent of it gives the devil a foothold in our lives (Ephesians 4:26-27). He then has a base of operations from which to foster resentment and the bitterness that can be so defiling to many. Too much is at stake to not normally distrust expressions of anger as probably being sinful. Let us examine all angry expressions carefully.
We are to be good stewards of the children God may give us.