Speak To Promote
What kind of communication promotes intimacy? In Prov 3:32, we are told that the Lord is intimate with those who are straightforward (Tanakh), honest (Fox, Proverbs, note), and are habitually aware of Him in an appreciative way (Prov 3:6, Reyburn and Fry, Proverbs, note). Intimacy-promoting communication reflects an accurate understanding of the other’s reality with a goal of getting to know them better. Indeed, it rejoices in the other (Prov 8:31). It also listens and is eager to spend time with the other (Prov 8:34). Communication that leads to intimacy is also affectionate (Prov 2:17 with Fox, Proverbs, note) and compliments the other (Prov 31:28-29). It is respectful (Mt 6:9) and conveys a sense of being safe with the other (Rom 8:15).
Why does the aforementioned kind of communication promote intimacy? According to Prov 3:32, God is intimate with people who speak in the above ways because they are upright and can be trusted to keep His confidentiality (Yoder, Proverbs, note). It involves significant self-disclosure on intimate topics by parties of good character who love one another, and are committed to each other’s well-being (Prov 18:24). Further, such communication promotes intimacy because it reflects the Lord’s wisdom, is healthily playful, and delights in the other (Prov 8:30-31, NEB) through such expressions as merry-making, laughing, singing, and dancing (see notes by Longman, Yoder, and Koptak on Proverbs). In addition, it values the other enough to passionately pursue time with them (Prov 8:34) and displays affection, trust, and a valuing of the relationship enough to not want to hurt the other (Prov 8:34).
May we enjoy others and communicate with them in ways that enrich intimacy.
Loving trust is more important than mere head knowledge.